Baby Pictures

These are pictures of my baby in reverse order. Sorry I haven't figured out the blogger system quite as well as I would like.

Enjoy - I'll be posting more later.

My Jon and Kate Rant

So first I want to comment on a situation that's a-brewin'. It's less important than my next post, so I want it underneath everything. No doubt you're aware of what's been going on with Jon and Kate Gosselin from TV's "Jon and Kate Plus 8." I woke up last night to check on my baby and found my wife sitting out on the couch watching this show. I caught the hind end of them saying, "Well, it's best that we separate. It's for the kids. Everything we do is for the kids. The kids will live in this ginormous house that we've bought for them but we'll visit them in this house. It's best for the kids that they don't see us fight. So we're separating. It's for the kids. Really."

I'm just gonna throw it down right now. It's not for the kids. If they're really doing what's best for "the kids," they would swallow their pride and determine to make things work. I don't care how much of a celebrity you are and what you feel you're entitled to. I don't care if you've got a teacher "friend" who makes you feel good about yourself. Get over it and care for your kids. And quit throwing out ridiculous excuses. They're contrived. They're fake. They're just a nice way to say, "We can't let go of our pride so we're going to go be prideful by ourselves."

"It's for the kids."

Not that it matters, but don't they have a billion people watching this show who look to these two people as role models? Gotta love the choices we have today. Hmm, let's see, I can be encouraged by Michael Vick...or Jon and Kate Gosselin. I don't like my odds - I think I'll choose Dr. Phil.

Of course, when it comes down to it, we look to the Bible for our truth and Jesus is our role model. I'm glad Jesus didn't give some pansy excuse for why he couldn't accomplish our salvation. "I couldn't do it. Me and those Romans just don't get along."

I know it's a rant. I know everyone in the country is blogging about this which means I've jumped on the bandwagon. I'll get over it. Like right now.

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself at a hotel in Coalville, UT. Looked like the hotel was the town as far as I was concerned. Eric and I drove up to catch the last three sessions of a five session men's conference there at the Best Western. The topic was leadership development in a number of different settings within the church and it was being facilitated by one of my favorite teachers. He had split everyone up into five or six different groups for the first two sections, and he had each group looking at a specific area of ministry (elder training, youth and special programs, outreach, etc.).

I tried to latch on to the outreach group pretty quickly after I got here because they had a sub-topic that is very important to me - worship. Ah, if only everyone were like-minded on this. As I'm pretty opinionated on the subject, I made it a point to remind my mouth not to say anything stupid. The guys had already built a chart called "The Master's Wheel" that described what the fully competent person in an outreach ministry would look like. I asked them to very quickly review for me what they had accomplished and one of the guys who is in the worship team at a local church filled me in. He threw out this idea.

He said that he is sick of the way worship is handled in most churches (he was using the term "worship" to mean the music ministry). He knows that worship is not about emotion but that emotion is a by-product of worship. (I think I could take a few minutes and probably argue that idea - we're told in the Bible to bring emotion with us into the "worship" experience.) However, he thinks that we should really build the emotion up to the sermon using "smoothing" techniques like continuing to play between songs, giving devotionals that lead into songs, and then after the sermon playing a song that reinforces the message and gives the congregation time to ponder it. So for instance (and this is an example he gave), if the preacher is preaching on repentance and giving up our sin, we should launch right into my favorite song in the world, "Trading My Sorrows."

Quick tangent: The reason I love this song is because the words in the refrain just speak to my soul: "Yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes, yes, Lord. Yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes, yes, Lord. Yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes, yes, Lord, amen." This is a really great example of how we should talk to God. If you like the song, I'm sorry. It's not my cup of tea.

Anyway, those were the gentleman's opinions of the other night. Now, I don't know about you but that sounded a bit sermon-centric, or in other words, we come to church to hear a sermon and the music and prayer and everything else points to that. My initial knee-jerk reaction was something like this (and imagine JD doing his thinking out loud thing on Scrubs): "What? What is he saying? That we should play to the sermon? I know that music isn't all that the service is about, but is he saying that the sermon is the main point? Ooh, I don't know about that. I should speak up and tell him I don't agree." At this point, I opened my mouth about half an inch to make a statement and then shut it as my mouth reminded me of what I had told it - no blurtage of opinion.

As I thought more about it, I became a bit less sure of my position on this. I know that the Bible says in I Corinthians that when the people came together, each person had a hymn or a prayer or a prophecy. It says that they were supposed to take turns sharing what God had laid on their heart, not that they were to coordinate around a central theme. Should the church service be a much more organic experience, a potpourri of congregational input that is shaped by the God's Spirit or should it be a shaped experience, a painting done by the worship leaders that involves the minds of everyone?

I'm pretty excited because we're going to be discussing this on Wednesday night to some extent. We'll see...I think it depends on whether we consider Paul's instruction to the early church to be normative or not.

HSM3: Senior Year

I like to pretend I'm a musician sometimes. As a musician, I'm a fan of musicals. I admit, I've grown distant from the musicals of my parents' generation. The Sound of Music doesn't really strike a chord with me anymore, if you catch my drift. But I like a lot of the new musicals and so I have a tendency to subject myself to them from time to time. Most of the time, I'm not too disappointed by them. But all good things come to an end, don't they?

This evening, I completed watching High School Musical 3: Senior Year. My thought process went something like, "Well, I saw the first one that they made and that was kind of rough. But I'm sure they've gotten better since they've made three of them now." Also, "It has the word musical in the title. What could go wrong?" As usual, I talked myself into underestimating the complete pointlessness of anything relating to high school.

Let me interrupt myself by saying that the whole premise of musicals is bad enough. In this perfect environment that musicals paint as normal, you as a normal human will consistently be overcome by such emotion every 7-10 minutes that you will be required to burst forth into song. The songs you will sing will be ones that you've never heard and that you make up on the spot. You will most likely be joined by a potpourri of your friends, random passing strangers, and the ice cream man (or a chimney sweep). They too will happen to know the song you are singing and will join you in your song (unless you are doing a sad solo). The song will end with everyone singing at the top of their lungs, the band/orchestra finishing with a climactic "ta-da," and all your new-found friends continuing about their daily lives as if nothing took place that was out of the ordinary.

Like I said, that's bad enough. But to create a musical about high school in which the characters create a musical about high school and then end by graduating high school and singing about the musical they made about high school - that just takes the cake. Now I realize that the entire production is aimed at a specific age group (just a guess...high school), but can't we at least throw in a couple of songs for anyone who's not interested in basketball R&B or hormonally charged teen love songs?

On top of that, I haven't even mentioned the one thing that got me started on this rant. It was the lyrics to the last song in the show. They go something, but only something, like this: 

High School Musical

Who says we have to let it go?

It's the best part we've ever known

Step into the future

We'll hold onto High School Musical

Let's celebrate where we came from

With friends who've been there all along

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah, baby! You know I only talk to two people from high school on any sort of regular basis? That's what gets me. They make high school out to be this be all end all of your life. You may do other cool things, but high school is cooler than anything and you'll have it with you until you die or get Alzheimers and maybe even after that. Who knows???

I, on the other hand, prefer to forget high school (where I was, like most other kids my age, a hormonally charged, wacky, imbalanced, grade A dork) and think about more positive things like the time I got my head on straight and asked my wife to marry me (and other semi-mature things I've done since then).

Thank you. I appreciate you letting me rant. And by the way, please hold your applause...High School Musical 4 is on the way. Here's a peek for those of you who aren't in the know. 

Too long...

I was relaxing this evening and I had a thought - it's been almost 5 months since we found out that we were expecting Amelia. 

Now, I have to admit that since that day, I've been prone to some really unusual thoughts and feelings. In my entire life, I've never been more in touch with my sensitive side - kinda makes me feel a bit weird. It's to the point that I could even write a good country song if I tried hard enough. But I refrain, and leave the sappy love songs to the men who get paid to write them.

Anyway, that thought that I mentioned back at the beginning caused me to realize how quickly time is moving. Remembering the day we found out is like looking at a photo album - I can see snapshots of things that stood out to me and with each snapshot, a flood of emotions reminds me of how I felt on that day. Anticipation, excitement, anxiety, joy, and fear rush me all at once. Kinda leaves me breathless a lot of the time.

The other thing I realized is how slowly time is moving. As much as I remember it like it was yesterday, it was almost half a year ago. Half a year...shouldn't I have a little girl to hold by now? (My wife tells me that God made it take 9 months for a reason, but I certainly don't see it. I tell her she needs to turn up the heat and I make her take warm baths to make the whole thing go faster. She tells me that it doesn't work like that. I guess she's right - she probably knows a bit more about it than I do.)

Anyway, I guess I'll have to sit and wait for June and continue going through this emotional roller coaster every day of my life. Or I could write that sappy country song I've been wanting to write...

My wife's a mom

And I'm her man

And waiting's just part of the plan

I'll have to hold on if I can...

That's just the way things go when you're in love.

I know it makes no sense - but I'm ADD so get over it.

BABIES!!!!

Click on the title. Do it now. It's a link to pictures of Alan and Tiffany's beautiful twin girls. 

Dare to Love

Vanessa and I decided that we should read The Love Dare. And yes, I understand that the book is meant for one person, but don't be judging me on how I read.

First thing I have to say about it is that it is a fantastic book. I've read "please help my marriage because I'm about to jump off a bridge and so is my spouse" books before and most, if not all, of them say the same thing. They say, "Care about your spouse. Love her. Serve her." This book is different. It actually gives you assignments to make the lessons you're learning practical in your marriage. Example time: We just finished the third day and it specifically stated that when you invest in something (whether it be stock or someone's happiness), you naturally care about it/them more. So, our assignment was to buy something thoughtful for each other not only to show each other our love, but also to instill in our minds a sense of thoughtfulness.

See what I'm saying? What other marriage book have you read that told you in no uncertain terms to go buy your wife a present? That's what I thought.

Anyway, judges say three thumbs up for the book and I give it 19 stars (out of a possible 5). Take the time and read it for yourself, but don't read it unless you plan to act on what you read.

I can say with all sincerity that in the 4 days since we started, I've seen changes in how I treat my wife. By the way, I'm not saying this is a cure-all, and it definitely does not take the place of the Bible, but as a supplement it will do just fine.

My wife

I can't find words to express how I feel about my wife. At this point in our relationship, I love that woman more than I have ever loved anything in my entire life. You know how they say that love grows over time? They're right (whoever they are). I thought we were good to go the day we got married, but how I feel right now makes that feeling look like a Dollar Tree toy.

And as much as I like doing things for her, she's got me beat by a mile and a half. On top of cleaning up after me and putting up with me, she's pregnant, which I understand isn't something men should get into.

I'm so grateful that God saw fit to put us together. I couldn't live without her.

Vanessa, angel, we should probably get married some time now that we feel this way about each other.

My little girl

Yesterday, my little girl kicked at my hand. I guess in any normal situation, it might have been cause for a parent to reprimand his child, but this was not a normal situation. Instead, it was the first time we've been that close to each other in either of our lives.

You see, my little girl is only 21 weeks old, and like most little girls that age, she insists on spending all of her time inside her mother. She's a selfish child too; for the past two weeks, she would only share her kicks with Vanessa while I was left with my hand pressed expectantly against my wife's growing belly, hoping for the slightest movement against my palm. Ah, but my little girl didn't keep me waiting forever. Last night, all of the time I've spent in anticipation was rewarded.

Do you remember the years before you were married? Do you remember being a child and having your parents drag you to a wedding that felt like it dragged on for eternity? If you were like me, you didn't get it. Why would you sit for hours and listen to people repeat things that other people said? Why did everyone get so excited about those two people kissing on the platform? What was so different about that cake?

Leap a few years forward. Do you remember the first wedding you went to after you were married? Didn't that event shock you with how gratifying it was? You suddenly understood the significance of those two words, "I do." The kiss became a moment of celebration, and the announcement of the couple was an occasion for great joy.

That's how it's been since I found out about my little girl. Five months ago, a friend could have shown me an ultrasound image of his unborn child and I would have been pleased for him, but not overly excited. Today, if the same thing happened, I would be overjoyed. The miracle of life has made an eternal impression on me. I've seen things in the past five months that have left me speechless. My little girl has a heart...and I have had the privilege of watching it beat. 

I'm continually enthralled by David's words in the Psalms. "For you formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well" (Psalm 139:13-14). I am understanding this truth more and more each day.

Ah, but I grow impatient. I want to hold my baby now. Even though I know the wait is well worth it, I am anxious to put it behind me. And yet, I know God has designed this wait for a reason. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's meant to make me even more aware of my responsibilities as a father, and also as a husband.

Still, I find myself holding my breath...waiting for my little Amelia.