My wife

I can't find words to express how I feel about my wife. At this point in our relationship, I love that woman more than I have ever loved anything in my entire life. You know how they say that love grows over time? They're right (whoever they are). I thought we were good to go the day we got married, but how I feel right now makes that feeling look like a Dollar Tree toy.

And as much as I like doing things for her, she's got me beat by a mile and a half. On top of cleaning up after me and putting up with me, she's pregnant, which I understand isn't something men should get into.

I'm so grateful that God saw fit to put us together. I couldn't live without her.

Vanessa, angel, we should probably get married some time now that we feel this way about each other.

My little girl

Yesterday, my little girl kicked at my hand. I guess in any normal situation, it might have been cause for a parent to reprimand his child, but this was not a normal situation. Instead, it was the first time we've been that close to each other in either of our lives.

You see, my little girl is only 21 weeks old, and like most little girls that age, she insists on spending all of her time inside her mother. She's a selfish child too; for the past two weeks, she would only share her kicks with Vanessa while I was left with my hand pressed expectantly against my wife's growing belly, hoping for the slightest movement against my palm. Ah, but my little girl didn't keep me waiting forever. Last night, all of the time I've spent in anticipation was rewarded.

Do you remember the years before you were married? Do you remember being a child and having your parents drag you to a wedding that felt like it dragged on for eternity? If you were like me, you didn't get it. Why would you sit for hours and listen to people repeat things that other people said? Why did everyone get so excited about those two people kissing on the platform? What was so different about that cake?

Leap a few years forward. Do you remember the first wedding you went to after you were married? Didn't that event shock you with how gratifying it was? You suddenly understood the significance of those two words, "I do." The kiss became a moment of celebration, and the announcement of the couple was an occasion for great joy.

That's how it's been since I found out about my little girl. Five months ago, a friend could have shown me an ultrasound image of his unborn child and I would have been pleased for him, but not overly excited. Today, if the same thing happened, I would be overjoyed. The miracle of life has made an eternal impression on me. I've seen things in the past five months that have left me speechless. My little girl has a heart...and I have had the privilege of watching it beat. 

I'm continually enthralled by David's words in the Psalms. "For you formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well" (Psalm 139:13-14). I am understanding this truth more and more each day.

Ah, but I grow impatient. I want to hold my baby now. Even though I know the wait is well worth it, I am anxious to put it behind me. And yet, I know God has designed this wait for a reason. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's meant to make me even more aware of my responsibilities as a father, and also as a husband.

Still, I find myself holding my breath...waiting for my little Amelia.

thoughts on worship...

Okay, so here are some random thoughts. Yeah, they're pretty unedited...sorry.

The book of Isaiah begins with a stern admonition to the Jews. They had a problem - their worship of God was intensely self-focused. They checked in on feast days and the Sabbath. They prayed and offered incense. They sacrificed and they worshiped. But their hearts were greedy for gain. Their hands were covered in the blood of their countrymen.

God looked at the Jews with the patience of a father and called them to repent. He warned them through His prophet Isaiah, "Judgment is coming."

And judgment did come. In 586 BC, Nebuchadnezzar accomplished the destruction that God had told them of as far back as Moses' time. The Jews would spend years upon years in exile, suffering for the sins they had committed since before the age of the kings.

One might have hoped that Israel (and specifically the tribe of Judah) learned her lesson. Unfortunately, they didn't.

IN the book of Malachi, we read the exact same charge leveled against the remnant of post-exilic Jews. They had been through the punishment God had prepared for them in Babylon. They had cried out to God in repentance. And the lesson God had tried to teach them had been forgotten as soon as He rescued them.

Once again, the cycle of Israel's disobedience declared itself. Her pride flew like a flag in the face of God Almighty. And again, God began to prepare another judgment.

We look at Israel, and as much as we want to appear holy and full of understanding, we scoff at the repetitive nature of her sins. We stick our noses in the air and quietly think, "I would have figured it out." And in that thought, we accomplish the very sin we pride ourselves to be free of.

In church, we get all excited about our "worship" time. We brag about our new music and cool instruments. We lift our hands in praise, we bow our heads in prayer. And we think we've got it covered, that we're something special.

How soon will God, the Almighty Ruler, abandon His patience with us? How soon will He punish us for our pride? If God so quickly destroyed Israel, His chosen and beloved people, for her sins, will He hesitate to destroy us who mock Him with our pretentious worship?

The second chapter of Isaiah ends with a command from God that we as Christians MUST heed:

"Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?"

Coming Up for Air

Okay, okay, so it's been a few weeks...or a few months maybe. Sorry about that, but I did get married, you know. My question would be, "How are YOU doing?" I haven't heard from you in just about as long.

Speaking of marriage...it's been almost six months! Can you believe it? I sure can't - the time has flown by and we're just getting started with this whole lifelong thing. My good friend, whose name I won't mention here (Tommy Jeffcott), said to me one time, "You know, Nathan, I really enjoy the chord sequence I-ii-V," which had absolutely nothing to do with marriage. But he also said that once he was married, two things happened. First, it seemed like he had been married forever - it was just natural. Second, he said that once you go there, you can never go back.

I'm going to have to agree with my unnamed friend on both counts. Vanessa and I were discussing a couple of days ago how effortless the transition was from really really really good engaged friends to being really really really good married friends. (It was only effortless if you don't count the ceremony - that took some effort.) Occasionally, I will here people say something like, "Relationships are not fun...Marriage is not cool..." and other derogatory remarks regarding marriage. My only response to them is something like, "Get over it man, you haven't even tried it, it's the best thing ever," etcetera.

Seriously though, I'm sorry I haven't kept in better contact. We're sort of just coming up for air for the first time, and so I'm getting to that whole communication thing slowly but surely. Bear with me for now, and you will be rewarded later (that sounded sinister, or maybe just weird).

Peace,

ngolden

I've come to enjoy the word "triage."

Okay, here's what I know. I know that I'm getting married in 16 days and that I am most definitely ready for it mentally, emotionally, and every other way. I'm just not ready. Things aren't done, people have no clue what's going on, and we haven't even picked processional music. I mean, for the love of a pink cocker spaniel, I can't even fathom how I'm going to finish planning in a little more than two weeks. AHHHHH!

*violently rips a massive chunk of hair out of scalp* - Oh, that's okay, I have plenty, thanks.

At five o'clock Tuesday, I had no idea what was coming. I mean, it's one thing to not know what you're going to eat for dinner, but it's an entirely different thing to not know . . . well, you'll see what I mean. Here's a short timeline of Tuesday night.

1700 - I pick up John Drga (one of the students I'm praying for this semester) in front of the dorm. We can't pick a place to have dinner, so we randomly drive up to Bellacino's and order grinders and ice cream. I rush back to school so I can pick up Vanessa and Ben by 1830 - we're headed to Emily and Stephen's final band concert of the year. Good times ahead...

1855 - I've dropped off John, picked up Vanessa and Ben, and arrived at the auditorium where the band is playing. I find a seat beside Vanessa and then realize that I drank too much Vault (Get to it!) at Bellacino's - can't believe they put that stuff on tap. Well, it definitely kicks like an energy drink.

1900 - The band begins to play their selections. There's this girl sitting in the back of the band playing a tuba. She taps her foot the entire time - for some reason, it's all I can hear. Emily makes a speech to Mr. Bailey - she snaps her fingers (I don't know why I notice that). Oh yeah, Stephen has just made me sick by performing on 3 instruments in less than 30 minutes. The kid definitely has a problem.

2015 - The band is finished and I am on my way back to the college to drop Ben off at his dorm. He says goodbye and Vanessa and I head to my house. Time for some relaxation, and maybe ice cream.

2030 - No ice cream for us, but V drinks some tea and I get changed. Everyone gets home and we prep to head out the door. She has to be back by 2200 so I figure it's time for some Starbucks before she has her meeting. Emily didn't get to go anywhere after her last concert, so I offer to buy her a drink (obviously non-alcoholic).

2130 - We've been through Starbucks and are on our way back to school. I drop Vanessa off and enjoy my ride back to the house with Emily.

2200 - Emily and I make what could possibly be the most foolish choice of the entire evening and decide to go jump on the trampoline.

2230 - I attempt a front flip without using my hands (a dangerous move for a person of my limited mobility and physique). I move quickly to attempt a backflip.

2231 - My backflip ends in what appears to be a whale flop. Meanwhile, my sister moves into position to attempt her backflip. Her first attempt lands her on her butt two feet behind where she started.

2232 - I make the second dumbest statement I've ever made in my entire life. I say, "You should try and jump a little higher next time so you get more air underneath you."

30 seconds later - Emily attempts her second backflip. She succeeds in getting at least her left hand underneath her body, but then reacts the opposite way, smashing her hand under her shoulder while simultaneously pulling away from it.

.17 seconds later - Emily's left humerus (upper arm bone) snaps in two. I hear it and immediately turn into a small frog. No seriously, I remain calm and go get some help.

The rest of the evening - screams, triage, high-on-crack-cussing-then-getting-tranquilized lady, drunk husband, ER waiting room, 40 in a 30 with the flashing blues behind me, warning, Rush 2, and yeah, that pretty much summarizes it.

Emily just walked in here about two minutes ago with this clamp on her arm - fortunately no cast for her. Looks like 4-8 weeks for healing, but I'm just thankful it wasn't her neck. I'm turning into my dad I think - "KIDS!!! Don't walk on that sidewalk, you could trip on the cracks! And then the neighbors will call the cops!" Uh, don't ask, it's a long story.

What have I learned? The most important lesson I've learned from this whole ordeal is that the word "triage" comes from the middle Scandinavian "tri", which means "very," and the late French "-age", which is a suffix meaning "slow doctors." The dictionary defines "triage" as, and I quote here, "a noun which when used in a slow passive context refers specifically to Raleigh General Hospital in Beckley, WV."

Okay, okay, so it's been a while. I'll fill in quickly. It's been a crazy year - I've traveled all over the place and I'm currently at over 14,500 miles driven by myself in a van. I've learned how to talk to myself. I've learned how to listen to talk shows. I've learned how to make Kansas the most interesting place I've ever driven through.

I sit here, only 113 or so days from my wedding. I have no clue how I'm going to make it that long. I'm not going to go into detail simply because I'll break into violent hysterical wailing.

I will say the following: as soon as we come back from our honeymoon, we're moving to Utah. Let me confirm the thought that just popped into your mind: yes, we feel called to be polygamists. Nah, not really. Actually, we'll be out there for about 2 years as short-term missionaries with Biblical Ministries Worldwide. I'll be assisting as the pastoral intern at Payson Bible Church, about 20 minutes south of Provo.

Whew, there it is. I've just spit out what I've tried to post for about four months now. My writer's block is crazy bad. Even this was a stretch. Anyway, more later.

ngolden

Critical Acclaim for Nathan's Next Post

"You know, after years of reading, I can pretty much tell a good story from a dull and generally boring one. I've looked at these photographs and they just scream a good story. I can't wait to read Nathan's next post!" - General Norman Schwarzkopf

"Brilliant writing, brillianter photographs." - The New York Times

"The story that shall proceed from hence shall be unto thee most exciting as the prophecy hath spoken." - Nostradamus

"We appreciate Nathan's efforts to be bipartisan and look forward to his comments on us." - The Ford and Chevrolet Motor Companies

"Whoa dude, what does this have to do with the really big news that Nathan said he was going to announce?" - Lee Whitworth

"Bark!" - Your Dog

Coming to a computer near you - Nathan's Next Post. Stay tuned.

And unto these my fellows, I bequeath...

. . . a large number of ninja turtle moves.








Okay, so these are my boys . . . well, sort of. I'll name them off for you and you can see what cool, muscular, and generally good-looking friends I have. Then I'll tell you why they are my friends and how we hanged (hung?) out on Friday night. So, here's the lineup from left to right, top to bottom: Colton "Gimp" Groves, Lucas "Divorce the Mountains" McDonald, Eric "SonnyJim" DePaulsen, and someone who looks amazingly like Blake "SuitDaddy" Porter (but really it's just a model - no picture of SuitDaddy available on such short notice).

These fellas and I used to be friends at a place called Pioneer Bible Camp (please note - the use of past tense denotes solely the fact that we are no longer at PBC). This is our story. We met one beautiful summer afternoon for a week of nonstop fun and Mission Impossible-style action adventures. As so often happens to guys who randomly meet, we quickly formed a cabin - except for SonnyJim who decided he was too good to be in our cabin and formed his own. Nonetheless, we accepted him and several other like-minded adventurers into our group, the Simeonites. For a week, life was beautiful. We threw flour bombs at each other, we won cabin cleanup contests, we clocked the fastest chariot times, and we played a strangely fascinating competition known only to great minds as "Byoofuhduh," all the while shouting things like, "Simeon, BE QUIET!!!"' Ahh, life couldn't have gotten better. And it didn't, it got worse.

At the end of the week, we parted ways for time and all autumn, not knowing when or even if we would see each other again. Meanwhile, the evil villain Murkor developed his villifying peanut butter bomb. Horrors!

Sorry, wrong story - what really happened is that the four of us were reunited Friday night in a glorious celebration of everything that freedom stands for. We laughed, we cried, we played video games, we made fun of SuitDaddy and Divorce the Mountains. We almost went so far as to eat out, but opted for a large vat of popcorn instead (there are some things that are just too wild, even for friends like us). And now, I must use the bane of all yearbook tag lines: "A good time was had by all." I hate that line. But yeah, thanks guys for the good times. It's been too long, but I can almost assure you that this won't be the last time that I will visit Utah. I think that some days I can hear the mountains calling to me like a small baby eagle calls to its mother when it's hungry. Hmm . . . that's strange . . . .

And here, I must issue two disclaimers. Disclaimer #1 - for those of you who have read this and have a lowered opinion of my somber writing ability, let me assure you that it is indeed late and I am recovering from a massive headache, both of which tend to make me randomly spacey (as evidenced in this post by the randoms, spaces, and numerous occurances of parentheses).

Disclaimer #2 - for all my other Simeonites who read this, your turn is approaching. Stand fast therefore in the hope that I may surprise you as I have attempted to surprise these my fellows. Also, you will be blogged over the head after I do surprise you.

Aaaaand . . . out.

Imaginative feeling of the evening: Imagine yourself being blogged over the head repeatedly with a blunt blog. What a feeling!

"...my thoughts exactly."

Instant Replay

Just a quick recap of my last post - my good friend Kira commented on our constant surrender to God. She ended with the following:

"The more I just relax and say, 'I trust You, where to now?' the more constant, peaceful, and joyful life is. The surrender doesn't nullify the complex events of life, the surrender simply teaches the life liver once again that he is dead...yet that he lives...except it's not him...it's Christ. Beginning to end, He's not surprised. With each situation, the question is asked again, 'Do you trust me?' and with each situation comes another chance to remember and realign."

That's life. Thanks, Kira.

The Ride of Your Life

Do you ride roller coasters much? If so, what are the two things you remember about all the rides you've ridden?

Well, if you're like me (which could be a ride all by itself), the first thing I think of is the gut-wrenching anticipation that I get as I strap myself into the seat of a roller coaster that I've never ridden before and begin the roll-out or ascent to the first drop. I'm especially anxious if the ride happens to be named something like "The Terrifying Black Dragon of Doom and Fire," or if it advertises itself to be "the fastest, most terrifying ride in the known universe." I mean, what if I suddenly enter the inverted spiral that tortures my body with a force of -9 G's and my insides decide that they've had enough of this and they're going to implode? These are the kinds of things that go through my mind as I anticipate squandering my healthy young adulthood on an outrageously priced thrill ride.

The second thing I remember about my roller coaster experiences is the following thought:

WWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOOHOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Strange as it may sound, that thought is probably my favorite part of the entire experience. You see, I live for the thrill of the moment, for the unbidden cry of intense emotion that rushes past my lips, for the extraordinary sensation of my heart leaping into my throat in an attempt to escape the rush of adrenaline that sweeps through the core of my very being. I live from one high to the next, anxiously awaiting the next sudden drop, the next inverted corkscrew, the next unanticipated acceleration.

That sounds like a fantastic way to live, doesn't it? It guarantees a surfeit of exciting moments, for as we seek this intensity, so we shall find it. We shall be granted the desires of our hearts, for life is far from monotonous and adventure is always imminent.

Unfortunately, we never pause to remember the negatives inherent in this way of thinking. All too often, we transfer our desire for endless thrills to our spiritual lives. We expect the gratification of an unceasing "mountain-top" experience with God, and when it does not occur, we become bored. We give up on our daily walks with God because they are simply walks. We lose sight of the realization that our spiritual lives were not designed for relentless, exhilarating adventure but were instead fitted for the steadiness and continuity of a walk -- a walk with ups and downs and twists and turns, but a walk nonetheless.

One of the most fitting verses in the Bible says, "They that wait upon the Lord. . . ." Am I willing to wait on God, or do I insist on desiring only the thrills that life brings me? May God save us from bowing before this roller coaster idol - the idol of thrills.

Good gracious, it has been a long time since I posted on here. I don't know quite what to say, except...I missed me? Well, I guess I'll just have to catch you all up on the current news.

For those of you who weren't aware of it, I am back in West Virginia this year. (Wait, does the post below this one mention that?) Anyway, I'm traveling as an Admissions Representative for the college that I graduated from (Appalachian Bible College - or ABC for you younger folks). Basically, I sit at my desk and make a bunch of phone calls to people all around America. Then, because talking on the phone isn't quite as fun as talking in person, I drive to wherever those people are and talk to them again in a public setting. It's a lot of fun for a few reasons - first, I get to meet people, and people are my passion. Second, I get to travel around the country with all of my expenses taken care of. Third, I have the privilege to tell people about a ministry that God has used in my life, a ministry that I firmly believe in.

Let me condense a typical day for you.
6:30 AM - Wake up; get showered and dressed; check my directions and hop in the van for a drive.
7:45 AM - Arrive at destination (assuming it's a teacher's convention or something of the like); set up display and literature.
8:00 AM - Talk to people (I love this part)
9:00 AM - Talk to more people.
10:00 AM - Talk to more people.
11:00 AM - You get the point.
When my day is through, I usually end up driving for a while to the town where the next morning's meeting will be held. There I'll spend the night either in a hotel or with friends. And that is 12 hours squeezed into about two paragraphs. Not quite that simple when you live it out, but oh well...

Oh, hey, guess what. No, I said guess. Of course I'm not just going to tell you.

Okay, fine, here goes...I'll be honest, I can't think of a thing to type. Sorry, my brain is fried. I just spent the day planning my trip to the great western state of Colorado. It's killer I know, but someone has to do it. Just like someone had to sacrifice to spend time at conventions in Myrtle Beach and Orlando. Serving the Lord is funny like that - you think it's gonna be all hard work and no play, but sometimes, the Lord gives you a time and a place to relax and meditate on Him and His Word - and there's nothing like the beach to do that, especially at sunset.

Anyway, that's my blurt for the evening. Nothing formal or organized, just whatever random thoughts I could muster.

More later,

ngolden

Comin' at ya like a whirlwind...

Those of you who watch movies may remember my title as the opening line of the song on the credits of the movie "Extreme Days." That's what it feels like here in Fairmont, WV. With very little training and little or no knowledge of what to expect, I have abruptly thrust myself upon the world of college admissions representatives. To point, it has been a mediocre experience. I must admit, however, that thus far, it has consisted of a two and a half hour drive followed by a workshop that was merely a repetition of guidelines and information that I had previously researched. This workshop took place in a room full of other college representatives who were anything but supercilious, but did not take the time to make me feel welcome. Of course, I suppose that I am partially to blame for that . . . I should have been more friendly. I have no doubt that tomorrow will prove to be quite a bit more exciting, and a lot less intimidating.

I'm trying to decide where I want to eat tonight. It gets kind of weird eating alone. That could be remedied by the presence of my fiancee, but for some strange reason, I don't think that she will spontaneously appear tonight. No predictions, just informed guessing going on here.

Behold, I depart. Keep the peace.

ngolden

Whew! Awesome picture! Me and my woman - I like it, she doesn't. I say my vote wins, so now it's all over the internet. This is us at Jr./Sr. Banquet last Spring. Isn't she beautiful?

A Phenomenal Weekend

Well, my last post is almost obsolete at this point. Let me drop the vague language and covert syntax from before and come to the point. This past weekend, I had planned to rent a car, drive to Columbus, and surprise Vanessa for her birthday. It was a wonderful plan, but the folks at Enterprise dashed the proverbial ship of my dreams against the equally proverbial Great Barrier Reef. After presenting me with a series of hurdles to jump through, they informed me that should I meet the qualifications, I still would be unable to rent a car from them. That was a bummer, let me tell you.

So, I went online and found that all was as I feared - lost. The closest car rental facility of which I might have availed myself was in Charleston, an hour's journey north. I quietly dismissed any thought of corporally wishing my fiancee a happy birthday. At this point, my parents became my all-time heroes. They purposed to facilitate for me a ride to Charleston sometime during the evening. In Charleston, Hertz had caught my eye as the only company that would rent a car to me at a reasonable rate, minus all the hassle with which others had buttressed themselves.

Anxiously, I waited for the evening. As the afternoon waned, my pulse quickened to find that I would indeed be presented with the opportunity to continue with my plans despite the minor delay of 5 or 6 hours.

Yeah, anyway, so that was a good story. But here's the real good part - so I rented this really sweet car that got, like, 36 miles per gallon. I got to Columbus that night at about 12:00. The next afternoon, I drove to the airport to pick up Vanessa. Man, she freaked out when I walked up to her. It was like she'd seen a ghost. She kinda screamed and threw her arm up in front of her face, which made me wonder if I was really as good-looking as she tells me I am. (Note to self: Never say that in front of people again.)

We had an awesome weekend together, even though I was dog-tired. I think she was too which made me look less wussy (which is a good thing if you're me - you're not, so who cares). After it was all over, I drove back to WVA with wonderful memories and the prospect of finally starting my job at ABC.

I'll update later about my first day, but for now, suffice it to say that I am thoroughly excited by the idea of busywork, cause right now I don't have any.

Good times.

ngolden

By the way, this is free for you fellas out there (the ones of you that are my age, I mean): If you decide to get engaged (which I would strongly encourage at some point in your life), make sure you pick the right woman. I sure did! Next summer sure seems like a long way away from where I stand, and if I'm as excited about it as I am right now, I can't imagine what it's going to be like when it gets here. I might have a heart attack during the ceremony. My, wouldn't that be dramatic.

The Attack of the Killer Employees Collectively Named A.J.

Have you ever made plans? Like big plans? Like allsummerlongyouvebeenplanning plans?

What happened when you made those plans? If you say, "Well, when the plans worked out, it was the coolest thing in the world," then you are exceptionally fortunate. For you, the plans worked out.

Now, let us look at Exhibit A in a case heretofore unknown to you. Exhibit A is me. When I plan real small things, they end up going great. But, when I hatch those gargantuan plans that would make the Manhattan Project cry like a baby, I always end up getting snarfed (thanks for the great word, Lee). If you were to visualize my plans, they would be an inconspicuous defenseless ant that is about to be tread upon by Andre the Giant. Yeah, it's that bad. But it wouldn't be that bad if this were just a one time deal. Instead, it's most definitely a thing that happens every time I plan something gargantuan. Bummer for me, huh? Yeah, thanks for your sympathy.

Anyway, so I'm trying to figure out what God wants me to learn out of all this. I've come up with three combo options (or three comboptions for those of you who like words). First, God could be trying to teach me patience and flexibility (a definite "no" answer from God). Second, God could be trying to teach me patience and perseverance (a somewhat definite "yes" answer from God - that depends on my reaction). Third, God could be trying to protect me from my own stupidity. That's always an option.

So whatever it is, I hope that I learn it soon so that my plans are not snarfed once again by killer employees named A.J.

Overwhelmed and Really Stinkin' Tired

You know, sometimes life comes at you so fast it knocks you down and rips on by. Other times, it knocks you down and then comes back and stomps all over you.

That's kind of how I feel right now. I feel stomped on, which really doesn't make sense because the past few days have been some of the best of my career to point (which is good considering that my career is living).

Anyway, to bring you up to date quickly...my best friend just got married. That was an experience. To watch a man transform in a matter of days (minutes when you get right down to it) from this crazy dude you used to hang out with sometimes to a happily married husband is downright freaky. One minute, I was actually in the running for best friend. The next minute, I suddenly became a mere acquaintance. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing. It's just really freaky, or did I mention that already?

I also got to see my good friends, the Gospel Heralds, in concert. It was by far the most powerful concert I've ever been to in my life where I've been a member of the audience. God used them today in an exceptionally powerful way to encourage and challenge me. I really needed what they had to say. Although, it did make me miss the seven hour road trips in the college van...

Well, I'm done for now. I've rambled enough and I'm going to quit. It's way past my bedtime (midnight on the east coast). I'll update either tomorrow or Tuesday and give you a more literate scoop on what's been happening. Don't lose heart, it will come quickly.

ngolden
(Goldilocks: it's Skcolidlog spelled backwards)

D.S. al Coda

"Howdy, big guy."

My summer officially started ten weeks ago with those very words of welcome from field coordinator Ron Thompson. It seems really freaky that it's about to end. Like tomorrow. Like, no more Utah Valley. No more Payson Bible Church. No more Pioneer Bible Camp. No more bugging the Whitworth girls and saying "Who dah man?" to Caleb. No more Temple Square visits. No more Isuzu Trooper getting 16 mpg. It's really, finally, coming to an end.

You might be asking yourself, "Self (because that's what you call yourself), is Nathan excited about leaving Utah?" After you pose this question to yourself, you may feel compelled to find out the answer from one who knows. And so, through some sort of weird telepathic thing, you get ahold of me and ask, "Nathan, are you excited about leaving Utah?" Seriously, warn me that you're going to ask that next time. Let me think about it for a second...

After pondering this question, I find that there are two parts to my answer: 1) yes, I'm stoked about leaving Utah and getting the opportunity to be in my best friend's wedding (100 points for use of a movie title). I'm also really stoked about seeing my family again. You may ask, "What does the word 'stoked' mean?" Well, it comes from ancient German. It begins with the prefix "sto-" which means "a man," and the verb "-ked" which means "who likes pork sausage." So you can see how I would be stoked to go home.

As an added bonus, and really the only truly exciting reason that I could give, I get to see my fiancee, Vanessa. Umm...I could probably talk for hours about that, so I'm not going to go any farther, except to say, "I love you, my little banana nut muffin." If you're not her, don't ask. It's a private memory. If you are her, then please don't kill me for saying that in public. :-D

Oh yeah, I almost forgot my second part: 2) no, I hate the fact that I have to leave behind a lot of people who I have become very close to. It's like moving away from your friends. Not always a pleasant experience. For those of you who are on the Utah field and are reading this, you have been the biggest encouragement to me. Thanks for your support this summer. Lord willing, I'll be back, even if it's only for a short trip. I can't wait to see you again.

And so, as I watch the door close on the end of an era, I sit back and sigh with contentment. I know that I will never again have a summer such as I have had this summer. It has been good. I "climbed down" all over it.

My, wasn't that poetic up until that last sentence? Anyway, I'm going to conclude this post in hopes that the next one won't be far behind. I thought of something today that many of you have found in an email from me. As Christians, we are totally to disobey our parents in this sense - do what your momma told you never to do, stare at the Son. Kind of cheesy, but still a good reminder.

So until my next, more serious post, I bid you "feosgar math."

ngolden
(Goldilocks: it's Skcolidlog spelled backwards)

Habakkuk

So I'm sitting here, trying to be random, but it's not working. Instead, I will just say that Habakkuk is a really cool book when you understand it historically. I've been studying it for the past two hours and it's amazing to see that Habakkuk was writing on the eve of the Babylonian captivity. He was scared, he was unsure about what was going to happen, and he had a bunch of questions for God. He was normal, in other words. I can identify with him easily. But I think the cool thing is that in the end, his final conclusion was that no matter what happened, God had been and would continue to be faithful. Awesome!

ngolden

The Office of Intern Affairs

Quick run-down of the things I never expected to do as a pastoral intern. I never expected to...
1. Clean out a 110 year-old church basement
2. Tow a Chevy Lumina minivan behind a Chevy Express van for 50 miles
3. Change a tire in a narrow canyon
4. Make Sunday School doughnut and cookie runs
5. Drive my hosts halfway up Nebo Loop and back
6. Visit a ski resort
7. Tour Temple Square for the 4th time
8. Learn enough in one day to blow my mind for the whole summer

The Lord is good. Sometimes, He feeds the truth to you crumb by crumb and allows you to digest it wholly before moving on; other times, He pulls out a side of beef and says, "Here, go at it." The analogy is crude, but that's how I felt today. It seemed that today was one of those learning days.

But what if every day were like today? Could I be that attuned to the Lord and His Word? Is there a valid reason why it couldn't happen? The answer: no. This is the Christian life at its fullest - each day full of surprises and blessings to be thankful for, and most importantly, lessons to learn.

It is my prayer that the Lord would work in me in such a way that the things that I caught a slight glimpse of today would burn in me like a raging fire. I don't want to forget what I've learned. I want to be...
1. quietly confident of God's work in my life
2. a leader by example
3. a man of fewer words
4. filled with the wisdom of our Lord
5. a lifelong learner
6. a truly grateful and loving husband (that's still on the way)
7. a man after God's own heart

I have set aside tomorrow as a day to seek the Lord in these things. I look forward to the morning.

I realize that this post is more serious than others I have written, but I think that's necessary sometimes. It's good to reflect on those things that God has given us to learn.

ngolden

Also, for the record, I am so thankful for my beautiful fiancee. She is truly a woman of God and so much more than I deserve. I am deeply in love with her and I am anxious to work beside her in whatever ministry the Lord calls us to. Marry me, Vanessa. (Mushy, I know, but I get to do that now without being embarrassed by it.)